Snakes are gross.  I know there will be snake-hater-haters, but I really do hate snakes and if you like them then you're also gross.


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SnakeNews Archives. 

I like to think that these snakes were sent to SnakeJail

Snakes are committing a ton of crimes these days.  We need an expert in SnakeLaw to prosecute these snakes... LYNN!

Now they can commit arson?!? . Thanks a lot snakes.

Criminal trespass! Why am I only hearing of this from an Australian news source?

Charles Barkley, we get it. 

Stop with the pet apex predators! When a cat goes missing it doesn't endanger people!

Duh, run it over. Done, snake-problem solved!

Duh, roll up your window and run her over. Snake-lady-problem solved!

Riiiight. Snakes are known for having empathy and making connections with other organisms.

And those are just the reported cases. That excludes non-deadly bites and cases that go unreported due to pressure from the snake industrial complex. 

Those backstabbing squamate ophidic B-holes

I hope that moody kid holding the snake reads SnakeNews.  If I can change just one child's life it will all be worth it.

Et tu Target?  Gross.  what other food did it touch...

I hate this. Snakes are literally the worst.

Just move... and incinerate the house please.

I feel for the "stressed out neighbor next door" but seriously, burn it down or move.

Breaking SnakeNews: Jay attacked! Not to be all I told you so about snakes, but... I did. Repeatedly.

 Instagram @the reptilezoo @jayprehistoricpets

Never use a first floor bathroom in a place that doesn't have winters.

You sound crazy. Snakes are stupid.

Subterfuge failed. No matter how many friendly emojis it can grow on its skin I still hate it

You either have to crash your car and try to get out before it explodes or drive until you hit Antarctica

Oh, that sounds amazing right now. One first class ticket to Tokyo please... ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW TOKYO? Get a life!

Best to read this one near anything that can be used as a vomit receptacle

Dear Tesla: AutomotiveSnakeLab.  You're overlooking a lucrative opportunity. That guy gets it.

AutomotiveSnakeLab, ingenious.  Also who gave this guy uranium?

Great work, guys.  I have a potential addition to your team who has his own AutomotiveSnakeLab (see above)

A truly great ape. And also, what have you done about snakes lately?

This guy is doing his part.  He gets it.

Good job Florida.  Australia could learn a thing or two from you.

They've organized and attempted a coup.

I'm getting a real Planet of the Apes vibe from these snakes.

Worst phrase ever: pillow cases full of snakes.  

Yelp review of Snake Guy: zero stars

Did he learn nothing from this site?

This is the End Days.  All those bible folk can finally get raptured.

Come on Australia!  Stop with the snakes already.  

Quote from AP article "fighting over a mate".  Just burn that house down. It's a snake breeding den.


Why cant you be more like  New Zealand? Snakes are ILLEGAL there.

Thanks snakes, for launching a global pandemic.

All these new snake species in less than a fortnight?  End Days.

*groans* Greaaaat. Just what we need!

Now I can hate this snake for 2 reasons. #HarryPotterSucks

Sydney, have you noticed what Florida is doing?

I agree with Lt Mathews and those snakes need to stop hating first responders. Read the article.

This looks like witch news, but CTRL-F "Serpentessa". Apologies in advance.

Oh how nice... NOT! Not jokes are still cool.